I’m back… I hope

So I’m back, or at least I hope. It’s been almost one year since the last time I wrote. I’m scared that I might be rusty but I guess I’ll just write from my heart and let the words come out how they want to. 

So I wanna give some sort of update but without any details. There’s some things I want to get out of my chest and I guess that’s why I’m writing again because if I don’t, I’m probably going to explode. 

So I stopped taking my antidepressants woohoo that is amazing, yes. But then again I started feeling again hahaha I’m emotional now, I cry about everything and sometimes, in different situations, my emotions get the best of me. I am not enjoying this at all and it’s taking me some time to adjust to it.

School… has been a nightmare. Yes I chose this but then again I only did it because it was the easiest way to ask for my PR here in Canada. I truly believe I’m not made for school and the amount of the assignments that I have just makes me want to quit, but I know I can’t and I won’t but ugh… I just want to start working, grinding but please no more homework and classes. 

I love my friends here though, I’m really happy that I’ve created meaningful connections that if we all stay here in Canada, we’re probably going to be in each others lives. But if we talk about being friends I had one situation where there was a problem and I tried to help with that problem but at the end I just couldn’t. I’m aware that the situation was and is out of my hands but I just felt shitty for what I had to do and for not being able to help in the way that they wanted me to help.

Taking care of my mental and physical health has been something that I left at the bottom of my list and it’s starting to backfire. I completely stopped meditating, I stopped sleeping at a decent hour, and you know, it just went downhill from there. Plus, I’m fat hahaha like I need NEED to move my body and take care of it asap. Pride is coming and I set like a goal for me to be comfortable in pride cause I wanna be shirtless. We’ll see how that goes. 

Anyway, that’s it for me now, my computer is about to die so I’ll write about some of the other things in detail. 

I missed this…